comedycentral:

"You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert

(via laughterkey)

All Priests Go To Heaven?

historical-nonfiction:

In the early years of the Christian church, heaven was seen as a wonderful, wonderful place. So amazingly perfect, in fact, that priests would often commit suicide in order to get there earlier. In the 300s St. Augustine finally condemned the practice. Not because it was a sin, but because without a priest the congregation would have no one to lead them (and, it was implied, help them get into heaven too). For a thousand years, that was the official Vatican stance on suicide. It wasn’t until the 1200s that the whole “suicide is a sin against God and therefore wrong for everyone" became church law.

(Source: toptenz.net)

laughterkey:

continuants:

TINY TRILLING KITTEN IN A PLATE HIGH ALERT

DAT TINY MOUTH. DOZE TRILLS!

(Source: nepetaquest)